"Society is a masked ball, where every one hides his real character, and reveals it by hiding." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The poster boy. This is who I have been for most of my life with respect to the issues I'm about to address. Most humans are really just sleep walking through their lives. Society tells us that if we have this car, we are somehow better than another, that if we live in this type of home we are somehow better than another. If we have this type of clothes, again, we are somehow better. But the real story is that the woman or man is doing all this to be liked. I just bought this car. Do you like me now? I just bought this house. Do you like me now? I just bought this Hugo Boss suit, this outfit. Do you like me now? If we really think about it, we just want to be liked.
From the executive to the janitor we just want to be liked. We are all struggling! It makes one ask questions of who they like and why they like them. It should be the person inside. That something about them. It's not what their assets are, rather their asset is who they are.
Each of us, every person, has a wonderful story in them. Truly. We are all children of God. At times we just need to stop, reflect, and perhaps quit running from ourselves. It's interesting so many people are trying to find God. Many get involved in a religion only to jump to another. In a lot of cases they are not looking for God at all. Many are joining nothing dis-similar than a gym or a club per say. They just want to be around people that perhaps have a similar interest. Or mostly just to feel like they belong.
Most of our lives it is just that. We just want to belong! To be liked, needed, or be loved! We just need to be truly honest with ourselves and question our purpose in each thing we do. That God is in each of us, not something to go searching for, but searching within us. And in that lies the answer. Each of us holds a beautiful story only to be told. We are all capable of the most beautiful things.
The mind is a very powerful organ. Albert Einstein stated that we only use 10% of the brain. I was a young child when I read that. I thought it was a typo or just me dealing with my learning disorder. But I never forgot it and now years later, I understand. Most people don't want to think.
Thomas Edison wrote: "Five percent of the people think, 10 percent of the people think they think, and the other 85 percent would rather die than think."
We are conditioned in ways from media/society not to think. We are banged and banged over the head from ads and media to be this and that and not to think. Mother Teresa once said: "One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody."
We need to stop and take ownership of our lives. To realize and accept that happiness isn't in possessions. In us lies the happiness. When we realize this one has another type of life. A calm, a peace, a joy. A life that we never thought was possible.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Are you inspired into Action!
You know something that I most enjoy and appreciate about knowing and living true to my life purpose? It's the ability to be inspired into action.
This morning I awoke around 5:30 and lay in bed for a while listening to Matatus hooting around the leafy suburbs of Urugits(If you not updated by the latest words in Nairobi, please refer to your Sheng dictionary, I mean friends). As I lay there, I noticed I felt odd - a filling leftover from a strange dream I'd had while sleeping. As I became more conscious of the sensation, I decided I didn't want to start my day in such a strange mood, so I continue to lie there but shifted my thoughts from the remnants of the dream to my life purpose.
As I recited my life purpose statement to myself, I began to notice my mood shifting as well. How could I be purposefully, passionately and playfully be of service today?, I asked myself, then recalled what I had on my calendar -- the wonderful young people that I work with at CHRISC, the different Projects that I'm working on, the new Community Coaching Program, excitement of EAC 2011, harusi ya Kariz(thought of how many pigs will lose their precious lives) leave plans, my future family, investments and not forgetting playing soccer games where am always the top scorer(I can see some people sneering but the truth must be told) etc Within a few minutes, I found I just couldn't stay in bed any longer. The opportunity to live on purpose was simply too compelling.
Once more I was inspired into action by my life and life purpose. Now, this isn't meant to sound like am full of myself, so please don't hear it that way. I just wanted to share it with you in case you don't find yourself pulled into your life by your dreams, goals and desires. I know it wasn't so many years ago that the main thing that had me get out of bed most mornings was the need to go pee. There just wasn't anything else going on with my life that was all that inspiring or compelling. But not anymore.
Living a life on purpose is amazing, and it all starts with readiness, willingness, and yes, a commitment to clarify your life purpose so that you can begin to live true to it. So, I ask you: What action could you take this week to become clearer about your life purpose? How will you inspire yourself into action?
This morning I awoke around 5:30 and lay in bed for a while listening to Matatus hooting around the leafy suburbs of Urugits(If you not updated by the latest words in Nairobi, please refer to your Sheng dictionary, I mean friends). As I lay there, I noticed I felt odd - a filling leftover from a strange dream I'd had while sleeping. As I became more conscious of the sensation, I decided I didn't want to start my day in such a strange mood, so I continue to lie there but shifted my thoughts from the remnants of the dream to my life purpose.
As I recited my life purpose statement to myself, I began to notice my mood shifting as well. How could I be purposefully, passionately and playfully be of service today?, I asked myself, then recalled what I had on my calendar -- the wonderful young people that I work with at CHRISC, the different Projects that I'm working on, the new Community Coaching Program, excitement of EAC 2011, harusi ya Kariz(thought of how many pigs will lose their precious lives) leave plans, my future family, investments and not forgetting playing soccer games where am always the top scorer(I can see some people sneering but the truth must be told) etc Within a few minutes, I found I just couldn't stay in bed any longer. The opportunity to live on purpose was simply too compelling.
Once more I was inspired into action by my life and life purpose. Now, this isn't meant to sound like am full of myself, so please don't hear it that way. I just wanted to share it with you in case you don't find yourself pulled into your life by your dreams, goals and desires. I know it wasn't so many years ago that the main thing that had me get out of bed most mornings was the need to go pee. There just wasn't anything else going on with my life that was all that inspiring or compelling. But not anymore.
Living a life on purpose is amazing, and it all starts with readiness, willingness, and yes, a commitment to clarify your life purpose so that you can begin to live true to it. So, I ask you: What action could you take this week to become clearer about your life purpose? How will you inspire yourself into action?
Monday, March 14, 2011
The value of Trust!
"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.” – Samuel Johnson
I kept asking him for the documents and he would tell me he will bring them. Having failed to transact for over a year, I was a bit suspicious that he could have covered up the transaction and taken the money. And the more I asked for the documents without results, the more confident I became that there was something fishy in the whole scenario. So much so that at some point I just gave up on the issue and decided, as one friend of mine likes to put it, ‘kiorire ni kiorire’! That which is lost is LOST. The English would put it a bit differently: no need crying over spilt milk, pick up the pieces and move on.
The implications were obvious: NEVER AGAIN! My friends think am very trusting and here I was thinking that maybe I am. However I always trust people so much especially close friends/colleagues but some take advantage of this, after that it will be absolutely difficult to deal with me. Like this guy who conned me fair and square with a tall tale of how he had gotten a job to do and all he needed was a bit of cash to sort out the work then as soon as he was paid he would refund. A close friend I trust had referred him to me and so I did not question much. Only to realize much too late the fella just wanted money to pay his rent. Needless to say I have never recovered the money, but I have not seen the guy coming back to me to ask for ANYTHING. A relationship lost…
And so, as I debated with myself (something I find myself doing a lot lately … part of growing old, or is it?) as to how to deal with this guy who also happens to be "family", he called me and said he wanted to come over and see me so we can talk mundu hu mundu (man-to-man). I thought to myself, ‘finally the guy wants to confess to the fact that he used up my money’. And after failing twice, he eventually showed up at my door. Sure enough he had sold my stuff and used up the money. He had invested the money in a pyramid scheme with the hope of quick recovery and repayment, it all went down the drain. He had then resolved not to tell me until he had accumulated enough money to pay me, so thankfully, he had the money with him.
I was happy to see the money, I was sad to know that I could not quite trust him. I do not believe there is a halfway point with trust… you are either dependable or you are not. There is nothing like halfway dependable. And that is the challenge with trust… With money you can use up half and retain half. With love you could be half committal (unsure). With nearly all else, you may find a halfway point, but not with trust. And once you lose it, it is GONE! Fortunately, for most people, any time we meet a new person, we naturally give them the benefit of doubt, we trust them. Hence, there is no one who is disadvantaged in matters of trust. Each must own up to the fact that we are responsible for building or destroying trust. And in most cases, the cost of destroyed trust is a destroyed relationship. Is it worth it?
Life coach.
I kept asking him for the documents and he would tell me he will bring them. Having failed to transact for over a year, I was a bit suspicious that he could have covered up the transaction and taken the money. And the more I asked for the documents without results, the more confident I became that there was something fishy in the whole scenario. So much so that at some point I just gave up on the issue and decided, as one friend of mine likes to put it, ‘kiorire ni kiorire’! That which is lost is LOST. The English would put it a bit differently: no need crying over spilt milk, pick up the pieces and move on.
The implications were obvious: NEVER AGAIN! My friends think am very trusting and here I was thinking that maybe I am. However I always trust people so much especially close friends/colleagues but some take advantage of this, after that it will be absolutely difficult to deal with me. Like this guy who conned me fair and square with a tall tale of how he had gotten a job to do and all he needed was a bit of cash to sort out the work then as soon as he was paid he would refund. A close friend I trust had referred him to me and so I did not question much. Only to realize much too late the fella just wanted money to pay his rent. Needless to say I have never recovered the money, but I have not seen the guy coming back to me to ask for ANYTHING. A relationship lost…
And so, as I debated with myself (something I find myself doing a lot lately … part of growing old, or is it?) as to how to deal with this guy who also happens to be "family", he called me and said he wanted to come over and see me so we can talk mundu hu mundu (man-to-man). I thought to myself, ‘finally the guy wants to confess to the fact that he used up my money’. And after failing twice, he eventually showed up at my door. Sure enough he had sold my stuff and used up the money. He had invested the money in a pyramid scheme with the hope of quick recovery and repayment, it all went down the drain. He had then resolved not to tell me until he had accumulated enough money to pay me, so thankfully, he had the money with him.
I was happy to see the money, I was sad to know that I could not quite trust him. I do not believe there is a halfway point with trust… you are either dependable or you are not. There is nothing like halfway dependable. And that is the challenge with trust… With money you can use up half and retain half. With love you could be half committal (unsure). With nearly all else, you may find a halfway point, but not with trust. And once you lose it, it is GONE! Fortunately, for most people, any time we meet a new person, we naturally give them the benefit of doubt, we trust them. Hence, there is no one who is disadvantaged in matters of trust. Each must own up to the fact that we are responsible for building or destroying trust. And in most cases, the cost of destroyed trust is a destroyed relationship. Is it worth it?
Life coach.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Dont live like an Elephant!
Kenya wildlife service today released the results of elephants census in Tsavo national park, and the report says that we have 12,572 elephants. In Kenya elephants are purposely for tourist attraction while in India, elephants are used for manual labor. I choose the latter in this story. When an elephant is small and weighs approximately 100kgs, it is securely tied with a heavy-duty rope. In between 'jobs' the elephant tries to break through its limitation. The calf whines, tugs, and even tries to chew through the rope-but it is unable to break free.
Finally, the elephant gives up its will and accepts his circumstances. The elephant believes there is absolutely no chance to free himself and overcome his limitation. In doing so, he misses out on his defining moment.
A defining moment is the exact moment one adopts or accepts a new belief that drastically transforms their life. They accept this new belief as a new truth, regardless if it is true or not. Because the brain accepts repetition of thought and deduction as 'the truth,' the rope reigns sovereign not only in the calf's immediate environment, but in his mind as well.
With this belief deeply embedded in the elephant's mind, his handler came up with an ingenious idea to permanently disempower him. He realized all that was needed was to tie the four-ton animal up with extremely small ropes and he would remain tied. You see in the elephant's mind, any size rope would keep him securely confined.
Don't act like an elephant. Size up and break through the confining ropes in your mind. When you're faced with change, change your perspective. When you're overwhelmed with something new; change your view. Use affirmations, to eradicate limitations and nothing will be impossible for you.
Finally, the elephant gives up its will and accepts his circumstances. The elephant believes there is absolutely no chance to free himself and overcome his limitation. In doing so, he misses out on his defining moment.
A defining moment is the exact moment one adopts or accepts a new belief that drastically transforms their life. They accept this new belief as a new truth, regardless if it is true or not. Because the brain accepts repetition of thought and deduction as 'the truth,' the rope reigns sovereign not only in the calf's immediate environment, but in his mind as well.
With this belief deeply embedded in the elephant's mind, his handler came up with an ingenious idea to permanently disempower him. He realized all that was needed was to tie the four-ton animal up with extremely small ropes and he would remain tied. You see in the elephant's mind, any size rope would keep him securely confined.
Don't act like an elephant. Size up and break through the confining ropes in your mind. When you're faced with change, change your perspective. When you're overwhelmed with something new; change your view. Use affirmations, to eradicate limitations and nothing will be impossible for you.
Friday, January 28, 2011
DANCE LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING
We convince ourselves that life
will be better after we get married,
have a baby, then another.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough
and we'll be more content when they are.
After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with, we will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza.
He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way, so, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... and remember that time waits for no one.
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy... Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So, work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one's watching.
After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with, we will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza.
He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way, so, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... and remember that time waits for no one.
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy... Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So, work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one's watching.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Lonely ember Story!
A member of a certain church, who previously had been attending services regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the pastor decided to visit him. It was a chilly evening. The pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire.
Guessing the reason for his pastor's visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a big chair near the fireplace and waited. The pastor made himself comfortable but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the play of the flames around the burning logs.
After some minutes, the pastor took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone. Then he sat back in his chair, still silent. The host watched all this in quiet fascination. As the one lone ember's flame diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and "dead as a doornail." Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting.
Just before the pastor was ready to leave, he picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it. As the pastor reached the door to leave, his host said, "Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the fiery sermon. I shall be back in church next Sunday."
Guessing the reason for his pastor's visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a big chair near the fireplace and waited. The pastor made himself comfortable but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the play of the flames around the burning logs.
After some minutes, the pastor took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone. Then he sat back in his chair, still silent. The host watched all this in quiet fascination. As the one lone ember's flame diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and "dead as a doornail." Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting.
Just before the pastor was ready to leave, he picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it. As the pastor reached the door to leave, his host said, "Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the fiery sermon. I shall be back in church next Sunday."
Monday, January 10, 2011
Creating opportunity!
An enterprising person is one who comes across a pile of scrap metal and sees the making of a wonderful sculpture. An enterprising person is one who drives through an old decrepit part of town and sees a new housing development. An enterprising person is one who sees opportunity in all areas of life.
To be enterprising is to keep your eyes open and your mind active. It's to be skilled enough, confident enough, creative enough and disciplined enough to seize opportunities that present themselves... regardless of the economy.
A person with an enterprising attitude says, "Find out what you can before action is taken." Do your homework. Do the research. Be prepared. Be resourceful. Do all you can in preparation of what's to come.
Enterprising people always see the future in the present. Enterprising people always find a way to take advantage of a situation, not be burdened by it. And enterprising people aren't lazy. They don't wait for opportunities to come to them, they go after the opportunities. Enterprise means always finding a way to keep yourself actively working toward your ambition.
Enterprise is two things. The first is creativity. You need creativity to see what's out there and to shape it to your advantage. You need creativity to look at the world a little differently. You need creativity to take a different approach, to be different.
What goes hand-in-hand with the creativity of enterprise is the second requirement: the courage to be creative. You need courage to see things differently, courage to go against the crowd, courage to take a different approach, courage to stand alone if you have to, courage to choose activity over inactivity.
And lastly, being enterprising doesn't just relate to the ability to make money. Being enterprising also means feeling good enough about yourself, having enough self worth to want to seek advantages and opportunities that will make a difference in your future. And by doing so you will increase your confidence, your courage, your creativity and your self-worth, your enterprising nature.
To be enterprising is to keep your eyes open and your mind active. It's to be skilled enough, confident enough, creative enough and disciplined enough to seize opportunities that present themselves... regardless of the economy.
A person with an enterprising attitude says, "Find out what you can before action is taken." Do your homework. Do the research. Be prepared. Be resourceful. Do all you can in preparation of what's to come.
Enterprising people always see the future in the present. Enterprising people always find a way to take advantage of a situation, not be burdened by it. And enterprising people aren't lazy. They don't wait for opportunities to come to them, they go after the opportunities. Enterprise means always finding a way to keep yourself actively working toward your ambition.
Enterprise is two things. The first is creativity. You need creativity to see what's out there and to shape it to your advantage. You need creativity to look at the world a little differently. You need creativity to take a different approach, to be different.
What goes hand-in-hand with the creativity of enterprise is the second requirement: the courage to be creative. You need courage to see things differently, courage to go against the crowd, courage to take a different approach, courage to stand alone if you have to, courage to choose activity over inactivity.
And lastly, being enterprising doesn't just relate to the ability to make money. Being enterprising also means feeling good enough about yourself, having enough self worth to want to seek advantages and opportunities that will make a difference in your future. And by doing so you will increase your confidence, your courage, your creativity and your self-worth, your enterprising nature.
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