Perpetual Pursuit!

She was beautiful. Both in looks and in personality. I liked her refreshing smile and her quiet charm. She obviously was from a rich family, but it was not in her manner at all – neither in her gait nor in her talk or demeanor. And to a flirty kiosk keeper, she was a real attraction.


I had finished high school and had little to do in the city,so I visited my aunt in another town for some months. I contributed to my stay by being her shopkeeper at her groceries kiosk in the residential estate. Now, being in a kiosk from 5am to 10.30pm every day can be a very tiring and boring chore. Entertainment was scarce and chatting people up was a relief. And when this girl started frequenting the kiosk, I used to really look forward to seeing her and chatting with her. It was like falling in love for the first time. And, like every determined boy, I did manage to get her to open up and I learnt a lot about her… but I could not get her love. I even went out of my way to visit her in school in my attempts to woo her! For some reason she was always near but out of my reach.


I eventually moved on and today I am very "happily married" to a wonderful "girl" that I met several years later. But I reflect back to my experience in pursuit of love and it is so much like life itself. We set our minds on something and we rule out happiness without it. And so we wake up daily to pursue it with all we have and are. Unfortunately, like my attraction then, our object of desire remains very near but perpetually out of our reach. And so we strive harder and harder every day, but to no avail. Our perpetual pursuit, like a mirage, only gets us feeling more thirsty, but it does not even have the capacity to quench our thirst.


I had this discussion with a business friend of mine yesterday, reflecting back in business. We are always WAITING to get to a stable period when we can DO the things we want. But does it really ever get there? He shared about a mutual acquaintance whom I would have thought successful with a well established medium sized enterprise; but he struggles with the same issues of uncertainty, instability, and continuous sense of hope. And so, whether in life, business or career; whether in relationships,or other social roles, it would appear to me, that state we imagine – a state of full satisfaction – will never come. Success and satisfaction are more in the mind than in reality. It is choosing contentment with my current status and making the most of it. And in making that choice, I suddenly give myself the freedom to be happy, satisfied and successful.

I put it to you, therefore, that the first habit of success is contentment. Contentment with what is so that you are not driven by what is not. We call that having an internal locus of control. You are in charge of your life, you have what you have, you can choose to maximize it and enjoy it instead of waiting perpetually for what you will never have. Try it in your important relationships and share the results!