The value of Trust!

"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.” – Samuel Johnson

I kept asking him for the documents and he would tell me he will bring them. Having failed to transact for over a year, I was a bit suspicious that he could have covered up the transaction and taken the money. And the more I asked for the documents without results, the more confident I became that there was something fishy in the whole scenario. So much so that at some point I just gave up on the issue and decided, as one friend of mine likes to put it, ‘kiorire ni kiorire’! That which is lost is LOST. The English would put it a bit differently: no need crying over spilt milk, pick up the pieces and move on.

The implications were obvious: NEVER AGAIN! My friends think am very trusting and here I was thinking that maybe I am. However I always trust people so much especially close friends/colleagues but some take advantage of this, after that it will be absolutely difficult to deal with me. Like this guy who conned me fair and square with a tall tale of how he had gotten a job to do and all he needed was a bit of cash to sort out the work then as soon as he was paid he would refund. A close friend I trust had referred him to me and so I did not question much. Only to realize much too late the fella just wanted money to pay his rent. Needless to say I have never recovered the money, but I have not seen the guy coming back to me to ask for ANYTHING. A relationship lost…

And so, as I debated with myself (something I find myself doing a lot lately … part of growing old, or is it?) as to how to deal with this guy who also happens to be "family", he called me and said he wanted to come over and see me so we can talk mundu hu mundu (man-to-man). I thought to myself, ‘finally the guy wants to confess to the fact that he used up my money’. And after failing twice, he eventually showed up at my door. Sure enough he had sold my stuff and used up the money. He had invested the money in a pyramid scheme with the hope of quick recovery and repayment, it all went down the drain. He had then resolved not to tell me until he had accumulated enough money to pay me, so thankfully, he had the money with him.

I was happy to see the money, I was sad to know that I could not quite trust him. I do not believe there is a halfway point with trust… you are either dependable or you are not. There is nothing like halfway dependable. And that is the challenge with trust… With money you can use up half and retain half. With love you could be half committal (unsure). With nearly all else, you may find a halfway point, but not with trust. And once you lose it, it is GONE! Fortunately, for most people, any time we meet a new person, we naturally give them the benefit of doubt, we trust them. Hence, there is no one who is disadvantaged in matters of trust. Each must own up to the fact that we are responsible for building or destroying trust. And in most cases, the cost of destroyed trust is a destroyed relationship. Is it worth it?

Life coach.